Even the hamsters are quiet tonight. I heard today that hamsters are nocturnal. No wonder they are on that wheel all night. Round in circles. Or at least thats what the 11 year old down the street tells me.
I've been running around so much after I put all the girls to bed tonight... that I am sweating. Probably more normal than I should admit actually. There's so much to do. So I made a fruit smoothie and am pulling up a chair to treat myself to a little bloggin.
I'm in 1 Kings. Reading straight through the bible. Since the first day of January. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 and 2 Samuel... 1 Kings next. Brian is doing it with me. We use the bible app to stay on track. The app is in charge of telling me what's next and even puts check marks beside the ones I've done....there's audio if you like to listen along as you read. Which. I most definitely do. It's where my girls find me every morning. Earbuds in. Listening. You know girls talk alot. And some of mine are spry, super spry, in the morning. Talking and talking. But for those precious minutes, my focus is on the Lord. I want my girls to find me there in the morning. At my 'Mount of Olives', spending time with our Mighty God.
God's Word meets me fresh every single day. I cannot get enough. I am so grateful that it's new. Every morning. His word is a lamp to my feet guiding and directing my life, and serves as my flashlight as I guide and direct these little lives that have been entrusted to me.
Mark 4:30 -32 Again he said, 'What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.'
I'm tiling and toiling. Stirring up the soil of these girls lives. And tomorrow when I wake up, Ill be tiling and tioling more. Sometimes one of the girls will say, 'Mom what are we doing today?' As if I am going to pull some rabbit out of a hat. Right now we, we are just buckling down, just the same ol' finishing the school year.
There are so many around me hurting. It's a bit overwhelming at times. Let me remind you...God is big. Bigger than anything you may be dealing with. Bigger than your issues. Bigger than your faults. Bigger than your yucky. Bigger than your sin.
God is on the throne. Thankfully.
How deep the Father's Love for us. How vast beyond all measure. That He should give his only Son, to make a wretch his treasure.
Good Soil GIRLS!!! We are beginning again! Another study of a book of the bible. It's going to be a blessing. See www.goodsoilgirls.wordpress.com
I'm a taddy tad traumatized. A few weeks ago, somehow my computer deleted all of my photos. I take this laptop with me on the go sometimes. I don't know if I have dropped it one to many times, or what.
The guys at the Apple store in Charleston salvaged it. I would have had no pictures of the two little ones entire lives. The thought of that hurts my feelings.
Brian and I were on a date last night. We honestly didn't do anything 'right' to end up in this beautiful marriage that God has given us. Probably we did most things very wrong. We both consider it to be God's grace. A loving, caring marriage. Christ is our center. He chose to bless us, amidst self centeredness, selfishness, sin, bad choices, regretful decisions and set us apart. I love this walk we have with the Lord. It is that. A walk. We were driving home this week from dance class. I was talking with the girls about the different people in the bible. I was reminding them that the people of the bible were not all good. OR all bad. There were both. But God has called us to be holy. He says, 'Be holy because I am holy.' 1 Peter chapter 1. I think its verse 12 or 13 or maybe 17. Look it up. :)
Then Evelyn said 'Many people walked with God.' And she said it like that. Walked with God. I said, you are right. Many people did. And many people DIDN'T. To walk with God. What does that mean? She said, 'Reading your bible.' Seeking to follow the Lord in ALL that we say and do. Is she doing that today? Am I? Are you?
All around me I see, hear, feel marriages falling apart. It's painful. And I know that Satan is laughing. He attacks marriages first. Because if he can unravel that, the rest of the family will follow suit. They will have a much better chance of unraveling if the glue that holds everything together, the marriage, is gone. Destroyed. Annihilated. It's sick. So we keep going on date night every week. We set aside the time and MAKE it happen. We know the importance. We end up at the same restaurant every week. And I'm not telling you which one, because no one there knows us. :)
And as I feel myself coming out of the baby fog. God has loosened the chains . Thank you Lord.
The month of March and April have definitely given me plenty to write on. The computer was fixed somehow. And I've still got my pictures of all four of my girls. And now all is double, no triple backed up. So I can rest assured.
If you've read my blog, you know that after I married Brian all those years ago, I said that I didn't care one thing about having
I thought...They were messy and dirty.
They always had buggars on their fingers or something smeared on their face. Or they were picking their nose. It was a LOW view of kids in general. Just being honest. It was self centered and sad.
Thank you God for saving me.
Clearly I'd never have a child to throw a tantrum in public...Then. I.
Obviously, I had never been around real children.
Some days, my plans are not all achieved...like teaching Viv each of the 26 letters ...or all the laundry from little girls who love dressing up or not and somewhere in between. Or riding bikes with the girls. But there are so many more days in the week. And for every nutty day these days, I'm getting a good 6 really good days. It's not always like this. Sometimes I am treading water and only one half of my nose is above water, but right now....it's smooth sailing. Thank the Lord. The baby learned to crawl yesterday. So smooth sailing days will soon be a thing of the past.
I was out the other day for a few hours with no where to go and nothing to do. Brian was gone. I was still amazed that I have four girls to go with me. To do girly stuff with. We walked and talked. And they had a cupcake. Even a pedicure. I see me as I look at them. And yet. They are so different than me in some ways. And of course, different from one another. It couldn't be any more fun watching as the Lord develops each girl into their own little person.
She hasn't stopped talking about this experience. Kids are SO rarely invited to weddings. Well here's the exception. This sweet wedding. My girls names were on the invite. Seriously this may be the highlight of Vivian's three years of life. This is her, awaiting the arrival of the bride. My friend snapped this from across the isle.
The story goes something like this.
Brian and I want to take the family on a getaway.
I used to work at Disney. And we've been to Disney a bunch. We love it. It's always ridiculously fun.
Brian says, 'Disney Cruise.' Period. I love when he's decisive-guy.
So he goes online and realizes quickly that the week right after spring break is a zillion dollars cheaper than the other weeks. (Reason #2398 we adore homeschool) So, we zip away on a Disney cruise last week. Which would be enough fun to fill little girls happy hearts for a year, but he also booked us excursions. One of them was to this place. I think it's called Dolphinarious or something like that. Dolphins. And your not just admiring them from afar. You're swimming with them. My future veterinarian girl was beside herself, but so were the rest of us. It didn't feel like we were in a small town in Mexico. The company was all so well run. Dolphin trainer spoke English well enough to understand. Sidenote, dolphins are incredibly sweet animals. We got to ride a dolphin as she is torpedoing each of us, one by one, through the water. Even my five year-old. Unbelievable. They are smart, sleek, gorgeous, aggreable, kind hearted. I think it changed Carlisle's perspective. Without a doubt it was something she will remember and look back on FOREVER. She asked me the night we got back, as I was tucking her into bed.
Me: 'Yea Honey.'
Carlisle: 'What is your favorite day in all of your childhood?'
Me: 'Let me think....probably swim team. Swimming with your Aunt Ju Ju....yea... racing against other swimmers my age. I loved it. I loved winning. Why?'
Carlisle: 'Well, I think my favorite day of my childhood so far was swimming with that sweet dolphin.'
Their hair is lighter, their skin a shade darker and their hearts fuller from this experience.
(From 2 weeks ago)
I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I am NOT a nervous nelly. I just really am uncomfortable in hospitals.
Brought my laptop for entertainment. Baby is having tubes. It's so hard sending her back with big old nurses and doctors. She took her baby doll. She's so little.
They. So big.
It is moments. Minutes. Maybe 10? He's here telling me that she is ok and that all went well.
I am NEVER, I repeat, never in hospitals. Unless I am having a baby. And I do that without all the hoopla of the anesthesiologists and doctors. Just me and the realness of what I like to call getting a baby from one side of your body to the other side. So, I don't know the deal. The protocol. I am the antithesis of protocol. Ask my labor and delivery nurses. :)
I honestly can't believe that the Doctor met with me in the waiting room. Is that normal? He said she's great. Or is that because she's so little and cute?
So I go to get her. She's in the recovery room. Inconsolable. Being rocked by a nurse who doesn't want to be rocking the screaming baby whose just had tubes shoved in her ear drums...or where ever they shove them. So I relieve the nurse. And I rock my inconsolable one. She's so cute. But so mad. And I feel helpless. Not a great place for me. I like fixing problems. Not rocking them.
She hasn't eaten in forever. She's gonna be so happy to have this bottle. So I stick it in her mouth. Even that doesn't alleviate her irritation. I think its the side effects of the anesthesia. So I strap her back into the stroller and we make our way to the car.
And as I pull in the driveway 15 minutes later. Brian pulls some rabbit out of a hat with crazy faces and nutty-ness and has her get this...laughing. Amazing.
The one-year old.
Life is full.
I'm holding on tight, to each juicy memory, so I won't forget a thing.
'11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.'
Live it. Encourage, comforting. Live a life for God.